SUNDAY 110

Time: 20:11
Place: Home

A painful sunday for me. Had the surgery yesterday. The recovery has been difficult. I didn’t expect it to be this way. I thought it was just going to be some skin being chopped out. They gave me general anesthesia for the procedure, which caused nausea and weakness post operation. Stitches were made after the procedure. Being in a tender location, every movement has been unconformable. Hopefully the discomfort will pass in a few days. I will definitely not be able to move freely for the next week.

The total hospital bill came to around 21000 out of which Insurance covered 18K. About 3k bill for me. Not bad considering circumcision is  generally not covered in insurance and my bill could have been significantly more.

Had another fight with the Mrs this week about some silly thing. Patched up the same night.

Sat with the Mrs and discussed finances this week. It was a good discussion. We both figured out where we were and what we needed to do. I think she understands better now and will not demand things from me.

SUNDAY 109

Time: 12:06
Place: Home

Missed a Sunday post after a long time. Travelled to Nellore for the Sankranthi festival last week. Returned back on Monday and it turned out to be a very hectic week. We did not make it any easier for each other either with me insisting on doing a lot of cooking before we left for our respective offices.

The week ended with the Mrs getting angry and frustrated that I was not spending any peaceful time with her. We had a fight yesterday which lead to her getting teary eyed and me getting angry and shouting some more. We did sit down later and have a good chat and cleared things up.

Upon reflection, I realized that she was right when she said that I was not spending quality time with her. She has never lived away from home in her life and these early days away from her parents are difficult for her. Most days she feels lonely at home after work. I have been returning very late from the office these days and I usually have no energy left to talk. Having said that, I need to be more understanding and try a little harder. Now that I know what I am doing wrong, I will try to do better in the coming weeks.

If there are things at home that I don’t like, I should either change them or keep my mouth shut. In fairness, the Mrs has been working very hard to keep up with me. I need to slow down a little to match her pace. I need to give her some credit and appreciate what she does some more. Those are my learning from these last couple of weeks.

Visited another doctor yesterday for my dick problem. He suggested that circumcision is necessary. He also mentioned that this procedure is usually not covered by insurance and my medical expenses bill can run to the tune of about 20K. I have planned the procedure for next week. I will work the next couple of days to get the pre authorization from the insurance. It will be good if I can get the authorization done.

 

SUNDAY 108

Place: Home
Time: 22:45

A late Sunday post this. The last couple of days were very hectic. Her parents left for Nellore yesterday. We did a lot of cleaning and setting up over the last 2 days. I also had patching work yesterday so I went to office and returned today morning. Pushed the poor girl really hard today. She must be bone tired.

Visited the doctor for the problem yesterday. He said the cause is narrow skin near the head and the only solution is circumcision. Another thing to worry about.

This week has been topsy turvy for me. I got disillusioned about my life and what I wanted with it. I went very silent and did not speak to the Mrs for a couple of days causing her a lot of anxiety. Managed to drag myself out of that mess and also managed to patch our relationship. There are a lot of things that I have to try to change about myself if this marriage needs to work. Good news is that I have started early and things should get better going forward.

Went to PTP on Friday to check out the office. There is no proper cab facility to the PTP office. Also OTP is only 15-20 mins farther away than PTP. Makes no sense to go to PTP so I have decided to drop the PTP idea and start going to OTP regularly. I will be spending a lot of time in the traffic but there is no other way to it.

SUNDAY 107

Place: Home
Time: 19:00

Good week.

Not much work. Spent the days idle at home. Took off on Friday.

We had planned an outing for the new year but the organizer cancelled the booking. We had to settle for a picnic outside and a house party for the new year. It was good though.

A fresh beginning to the new year. A little tired right now so not really in the mood to write a full post. More next week.

Expenses:
T-shirts and tops — 1800

SUNDAY 106

Place: Home
Time: 16:40

Eventful week.

Ups and downs in our budding relationship this week. Mostly my fault. My speech had become very caustic off late. Me being harsh is not going to remove all the faults and shortcomings. The problem is with how she takes my statements. Anything I say that is slightly hard causes her to tear up. That seems to make me even more angry.

I have decided to control my tongue and not say anything going forward whenever I am annoyed by the Mrs. That should help out considerably.  We had a couple of days of privacy these last couple of days. We went to Bala’s place yesterday for a party which Mr. Chick gave. It was very late by the time the party was over so we slept there and coming home in the morning. Went to Dangal movie yesterday. Was good.

Decided to build up our savings in a dormant HDFC account that the Mrs has. Planning to do an initial deposit of 1L and then transfer the monthly savings from March after all the expenses are settled. We have discussed about the need to build up a fund of about 5L and the Mrs agrees. I also told her that I am planning to give 1.5L for Suchi’s marriage and thankfully she was fine with it.

This weeks expenses:

Washing Machine cover and Power Bank –> The cover was required as the washing machine looked quite bare. Power Bank was required because there are frequent power cuts here.

Movie and Lunch outside — 1000

 

 

 

SUNDAY 105

Place: Home
Time: 12:12

I have stopped the weekly count now. Although we have not managed to do the deed, we are pretty much there and getting over the line might require some medical help.

The last 2 Sunday posts have been somewhat bereft of content. That is not because of a lack of anything going on in my life. Quite the contrary to be frank. Its just that when I started this series, I wanted to write about what I tasks I achieved during the course of the week on every Sunday. For the last couple of years, the marriage has been the central theme to this post. Most of the content that I have written have more of less revolved around marriage. Now that the marriage is over, I need to rethink what the content of this series should be.

I think the format in itself is very good and it deserves to be continued. The content will include the life of 2 people instead of one as has been the case till now.

Came back from the HM yesterday night. It was a very good experience overall. I felt that we were a little short of time. 3 nights over there was always going to be quite hectic. And it turned out to be so. Nevertheless both of us had quite a lot of fun and have grown closer together because of the experiences that we have shared.

We had a lot of good conversations together and have come to know each other better now. The past few weeks have been a learning experience for me. I have come to know myself better and given the fact that my words and actions now impact 2 lives instead of just one, there are things that I need to change in myself. I definitely need to become more patient and stop trying to have a control on all issues. I need to start giving the benefit of the doubt to the Mrs on most matters.

We have decided to create a pool of 5 lakhs. I will need another 1.5L for Suchi’s marriage so that is a total of 6.5 lakhs. My target is to create the surplus by the end of 2017. There are going to be no money transactions between me and dad going forward. He will give me the land money as and when it arrives. We have spoken about this and have decided to minimize our expenses till we create the 5L pool.

I want this to be the central theme of these Sunday posts going forward. I will report in the Sunday post what my expenses for the week were, what was a good investment and what was a bad investment. I want every rupee I spent to be weighed for pros and cons and I don’t want to take any rash decisions.

That along with regular updates on both our fitness and work should keep this Sunday thing going for another 100 posts.

Tasks for the week:

Get credit card money from the guy, close bank accounts, work on getting address proof — Swathi
Look for beds to buy, figure out mattress problem – Sridhar

SUNDAY 104

Place: Home
Time: 09:15
Week 60

Had a big fight with madam yesterday. Mostly my fault. I said something out of spite. She started crying. I got even more angry. For some reason I took it as a challenge for my ego and then behaved quite nastily. I don’t know why I did that. I will need to be careful about my behavior going forward.

Lots of changes in the office. Firstly, I got a raise of 90K effective this month. No promotion though. I think the next year, Oracle will give me a promotion without any hike going by what they did this year. Baiju, Rupak and Vijay were made PSE’s. I will need to start preparing for a shift now given that there is no SSC work for me going forward.

There is a Dell onsite project that started last week. I was onsite in Dell for a couple of days this week. Doesn’t look like a very difficult assignment. I think I am going to have a lot of time on my hands in the coming few weeks. Need to make the most of it.

Will go out to buy electronic goods today. My budget for a fridge and washing machine is about 35K. The total house budget is 75K. We will look to buy the rest of the stuff next week. We had looked for homes in AECS layout and had decided to finalize that one. On monday I rode to office on my bike and on the way back got an idea about the travel time. Kadugodi would take me about 20 mins more than AECS layout. So I thought long and hard about spending about 1L on new house when the total travel time was going to be an extra 1 hour for me. Decided to go with the existing place for the time being.

In laws will probably leave the coming week or the week after. Then we will be able to settle down a little and get ourselves settled.

 

 

 

SUNDAY 103

Place: Atta’s Place, Kadugodi
Time: 07:07
Week 59

So the marriage is done.

It was hectic and tiring yet enjoyable at the same time. During the past week, I have slept as much on the road as I have on a stationary bed. All the travelling is over now though.

I want to move into a flat as soon as possible. Given that the Mrs. does not want to move away from her mom’s place, she is not showing a lot of enthusiasm. This is something that will require a bit of a push. Saw a place yesterday that I thought was good. Need to show it to the Mrs. today and confirm it. The travel to the office from there is going to be a pain. But I expect to survive somehow.

Most of the pending accounts have been cleared. The total expense of the marriage including the initial expenses came to around 7 Lakhs.

The SSC work has completely moved out. I am not sure what I should do tomorrow. I will start to office at lunch time and will have a chat with Chaman regarding what he wants me to do. Oracle gave me a 10% hike btw. Better than nothing.

Given that I have started a family now and there are 2 of us to manage, I have to be very careful and sensitive when it comes to managing expenses. Had a mini fight with the Mrs. yesterday regarding her credit card bill. I will need to ignore her expenses at least for the coming couple of months and let her manage her own stuff. Me demanding accountability one week after marriage will make her feel like I am dominating her.

SUNDAY 102

Place: Sai Colony, Beeramguda
Time: 19:52
Week 56

Another tiring and busy week. Got a lot of stuff done during this week. Cleaned out most of the house in Aliabad. Went to meet vadina on friday evening and bought the sherwani yesterday.

After a lot of deliberation, settled on one Innova and one mini bus for the marriage. Will need to book train tickets in tatkal on the 23rd and 24th. Lots of stuff to do in the next week. I am so tired right now.

Miles to go before I sleep..

SUNDAY 101

Place: 005, Devi Residency
Time: 08:35
Week 55

Probably my last Sunday post written from 005, Devi Residency. Probably my last day spent in this house. It has been 2 years since we came to this place. Where have these years gone? This place has been my home for quite a while now. It has anchored me when everything else in my life was chaotic. Starting today I will be stepping into the unknown.. and the coming weeks are going to be turbulent at best.

I am going to be tested as a man and I will need to be patient. I will need to be aware at all times about what is going on around me and what are the things left to be done.

Events of the week have made my life so much more challenging. Bro has a tiff with his previous employer who has yet to settle dues worth 8000$ with bro. Given the expenses he will be incurring travelling to and forth India, he is really tight on his budget. He was angry and frustrated at dad’s failures so to mollify him, I told him that I will be taking care of the housing loan EMI’s for the next 2 months. Added to that the 26K that I paid for the visa fees is a total of 1L. That is 1L eaten away from my marriage budget.

Dad wanted to take a loan on the land but for that we need to pay the existing loan first which is 1.5L. Then it will take 3 more days for processing time to release the new loan. Any delay in the process will delay the release of money, if it happens at all. Like all such things done by dad, nothing is without its problems or litigations. Its a risk that I cannot take right now so I told dad that I will not give him the money to pay out the existing loan.

All this leaves me in serious trouble. I will be able to manage the marriage expenses with the money I have but will be left with nothing post marriage. I will need to be very careful with post marriage expenses and will need to use the credit card for them.

I am annoyed and frustrated but there is nothing I can do. I wish someone would support me, either financially or morally by being there for me. With an event like a marriage coming up, I could really do without this stress.

I will be travelling to Hyderabad today. I will not be getting any kind of a sendoff today. Next week promises to be just as difficult as this week was.