Author: Sridhar

SUNDAY 131

Time: 21:31
Place: Home

So I got the offer from Pythian. I will resign from Oracle next week. I am a little disappointed with the offer that they gave me. It is nevertheless a lot of money that is being offered. I am a happy man right now.

The Mrs. did not get the offer from Accenture. Dad’s thing is ongoing. I spoke to bro this week and told him that I might need some cash from him. He said he would give me the cash.

 

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Reflections (Of an year gone by and an year to come)

Its 11:27 PM right now. Normally its past my bed time but for some reason I am not able get sleep. I am pondering over the implications of the events of this week.

I have been offered a position at P. I have been looking for a new job for an year now. I have been disinterested at work ever since SSC broke up in October 2016. I worked hard to prepare for interviews. I failed to clear in 2 companies. Those rejections hurt. I finally managed to get a job. I am being offered 19 LPA. That is more than I would have managed in either of those companies. It’s good money, but I am not over the moon.

I need time to process this change in my life. I have faced so many disappointments over the past few years that I conditioned myself to not have too many expectations. Now that something positive has happened, I am not quite sure how to react. I stop myself from being getting happy. I can sense a disappointment around the corner. I an not getting my hopes up, to protect myself from pain in case I fail at something.

I have been too wound up. I need to start relaxing now.  I will need to temporarily arrange for some cash to settle my bills at Oracle and to buy some stuff. Starting May 2018, I will start getting fat pay checks so my money problems should ease up. Once that happens, I will go easy on myself and more importantly, go easy on the wife.

Good days are coming. Time to cheer up.

Sunday 130

Time: 19:50
Place: Home

Sunday post after more than a month.

I have been busy this past month. I got an interview opportunity with Pythian and I worked very hard to clear the interviews. I have passed 4 rounds of interview and will know the result next week.

My life has been in a limbo this past one year. A lot of things around me seem temporary. It feels like I am constantly living just managing with what I have. An offer with Pythian will see me turning a new leaf. I feel I can handle the extra stress that will come with working at Pythian when other things around me will become easier. A lot of problems will be solved if I start earning more money. I am expecting more than double what I am getting now.

The coming week will be pivotal in more ways than one. Dads money thing has reached its conclusion. Dad is going to get at least 26L. Once the order copy is given next week, the money will come in a couple of weeks. Bala’s loan has ballooned to 1L. I desperately need the money.

The third thing that I am expecting will happen is with the Mrs.’s job. She attended several rounds of interviews with Accenture last month and has completed her interview process. Like me, she is waiting for an offer letter.

I will write a Sunday post next week. Depending upon what the results are for me, the Mrs and dad, my mood can be any of the below:

  1. All 3 happen: Very Very happy.
  2. Only 1 happens: Happy
  3. None happen: Very Very grumpy.

SUNDAY 129

Time: 17:57
Place: Home

Finally a Sunday post on an actual Sunday. Tomorrow is Christmas so this being a long weekend, I have more time today. Not that I am that busy on the other weekends. But still.

Next weekend is new year. I will be travelling to Pogo’s place for the new year party. Since I will be travelling, this will be my last post for this year,  Sunday post or otherwise.

5 day gym week. The gym guy said he will be putting up the new year offers next week. The Mrs. wants to start attending the gym. I will make a deal next week for a 6 month or a 12 month membership for the 2 of us.

Last week I wrote about wanting to start living in the now. I practiced this over the week and I am feeling good about it. I have clarity of thought now and I have a sense of purpose during the day. I no longer feel that I am just drifting. I feel that I am dealing with things a bit better too. I need to keep this up.

Grandfather was re-admitted to the hospital. It seems his medication was not correct the first time he was hospitalized as his diabetes was not taken into account. It seems he is pretty diabetic. I did a video call this morning and he seems to be doing fine although he looked very week.

Dad’s pipeline order did not come today. It seems the officers were busy with other stuff.

SUNDAY 128

Time: 9:20
Place: Home

Could’t write a Sunday post last week. Sunday post on a Monday this week.

I celebrated my birthday yesterday. It was fun. The friends came my place on Saturday and we had dinner and then some booze. Had a good chat till 2 AM. Woke up in the morning and went to watch the star wars movie. Overall a good birthday.

Another interesting development happened last week. Mr. Ch informed me that I am due to be promoted. I will also be receiving a 10% raise. The news gave me the morale boost that I desperately needed. The last few months have been tough. I can now start turning around my life.

I now have clarity on what I need to do. During the past few months, I have spent an excessive amount of time looking into the future and planning, as a result of which my execution has suffered. I need to start living in the now and investing in myself more. My career needs an impetus and I need to make the time to make it happen.

4 day gym week. Will try to do a 5 day gym week this week.

Dad says the order copy of the pipeline money will arrive today. Will need to wait and watch.

Granddad was sick and was admitted to the hospital couple of days back. He seems to be recovering now.

A letter to Sridhar – 2018

one-year

To,

Sridhar Reddy
Aged 29 years 9 Months

Hey pal. It’s me. You from an year back. How is it going? How is the Mrs doing?

I can image it has been a tough year for you. Most of the fun and games stop with me. You are the making of a quintessential middle class head of the family. Your life is not flashy or pleasant or happening but is something that must be suffered through to effectively raise a family.

I know I am doing no favors to you by heaping the loan to be settled for the South Africa trip on your head. I failed to get a better job when I had the opportunities. Its Nov 15th now and there has been no announcement of a hike so you will be managing with the same salary for the entire year. I am truly sorry for this.

What challenges have you faced during the year? For some time now, I have felt the need to start a family. Right now I feel there are 2 conditions that must be met for me to start on that path. One: I should be saving at least 40K per month (I first wrote down 50K per month but then did some quick calculations and realized that I will never be able to save 50K per month).  Two: Swathi should have moved onto a new job.

I do not set the bar very high when it comes to my behavior when dealing with situations that I am not comfortable being in. When shit happens, I do not deal with it well. I realized in the South Africa trip that I have a pretty big ego. When my friends told me that I was behaving overly responsibly, it meant that I was not masking my feelings well enough. This is one aspect of my personality that I have to improve on, specially as I age and take up more responsibility onto my shoulders.

I have also realized that I am not very good at following up on things. I plan to do stuff but don’t see it through. Take this post for example. I was supposed to write it in September. I started it on the 15th of Nov then left it off for another 3 weeks. This is something that I really need to change in life. When I get to be you, I do not want to be the person that I am now.

How do I go about changing myself. I sorely lack the focus. I lack the patience and endurance that I have tattooed on my shoulder. I think it is difficult to focus when life is complicated. I need to start making my life simpler. When I get to be you, if nothing else, I would want to be a more focused man.  I know when I can focus, I can be successful.

 

 

SUNDAY 127

Time: 09:31
Place: Home

Sunday post on Tuesday as I was busy on Sunday and Monday.

Went to the gym for 2 days during the week. Need to do better this week.

Father in law came to blore last wekeend for some work. He will be returning to Nellore today. Not sure if I mentioned it but Purush had a baby girl couple of weeks back. I will try to speak to him again this week.

Will try to write a more detailed Sunday post this weekend.

SUNDAY 126

Time: 11:20
Place: Home

Sunday post on Monday as I was a little busy yesterday.

The Mrs and I celebrated our anniversary last Saturday. We went to a pub and with me going against my better judgement, ended up spending a little too much. We did have good fun though. Spent some quality time just talking to each other.

Went to the gym for a couple of days. Need to do better this week.

The Mrs has been working hard preparing for interviews. I need to step up as well and start making the most of my time. I am spending about 3 hours in the cab every day. I need to figure out a way to make the best use of that time. Spending it watching random series is not going to help me. Starting today, I will download one youtube learning video before every trip and will watch the video and learn something.

SUNDAY 125

Time: 11:50
Place: Home

Sunday post on Tuesday as I was busy the last couple of days.

So the cost for my trip to South Africa has come to a total of about 2.2 Lakhs for the both of us. Was it worth it?

I struggled to wake up early in the morning to go to the gym last week. It has been difficult adjusting to the time zone difference. I have about 6 weeks left on the gym subscription. I need to make sure I make the most of it as I will not be renewing the gym subscription. I need to lose a couple of kgs before the new year.

Making plans to visit the in laws next sunkranti.

Dad says money will come in December.

The Mrs. sister is carrying.

SUNDAY 124

Time: 17:52
Place: Home

Had a great trip to South Africa. My enjoyment in the trip almost equaled the disappointment I felt when I found out that I was rejected in Amazon. They went by the result of the first round which did not go well. If I could have just prepared better. Aditya gave everything to me on a platter. All I needed to do was to spend some time on it.

That’s 2 interviews now that I have failed because of my own mistakes. Its not that I am lacking technically, I need to focus better and make sure I don’t make silly mistakes. The DBA market is very bad and I cannot afford to make this a habit. I don’t know when the next opportunity will come.

The work in the office is getting very hectic. I guess I owe it to the company to show some dedication and to deliver results. I have to put my head down and work hard, at least till the end of this year.