Reflections (Of an year gone by and an year to come)

Its 11:27 PM right now. Normally its past my bed time but for some reason I am not able get sleep. I am pondering over the implications of the events of this week.

I have been offered a position at P. I have been looking for a new job for an year now. I have been disinterested at work ever since SSC broke up in October 2016. I worked hard to prepare for interviews. I failed to clear in 2 companies. Those rejections hurt. I finally managed to get a job. I am being offered 19 LPA. That is more than I would have managed in either of those companies. It’s good money, but I am not over the moon.

I need time to process this change in my life. I have faced so many disappointments over the past few years that I conditioned myself to not have too many expectations. Now that something positive has happened, I am not quite sure how to react. I stop myself from being getting happy. I can sense a disappointment around the corner. I an not getting my hopes up, to protect myself from pain in case I fail at something.

I have been too wound up. I need to start relaxing now.  I will need to temporarily arrange for some cash to settle my bills at Oracle and to buy some stuff. Starting May 2018, I will start getting fat pay checks so my money problems should ease up. Once that happens, I will go easy on myself and more importantly, go easy on the wife.

Good days are coming. Time to cheer up.

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