A letter to Sridhar – 2018

one-year

To,

Sridhar Reddy
Aged 29 years 9 Months

Hey pal. It’s me. You from an year back. How is it going? How is the Mrs doing?

I can image it has been a tough year for you. Most of the fun and games stop with me. You are the making of a quintessential middle class head of the family. Your life is not flashy or pleasant or happening but is something that must be suffered through to effectively raise a family.

I know I am doing no favors to you by heaping the loan to be settled for the South Africa trip on your head. I failed to get a better job when I had the opportunities. Its Nov 15th now and there has been no announcement of a hike so you will be managing with the same salary for the entire year. I am truly sorry for this.

What challenges have you faced during the year? For some time now, I have felt the need to start a family. Right now I feel there are 2 conditions that must be met for me to start on that path. One: I should be saving at least 40K per month (I first wrote down 50K per month but then did some quick calculations and realized that I will never be able to save 50K per month).  Two: Swathi should have moved onto a new job.

I do not set the bar very high when it comes to my behavior when dealing with situations that I am not comfortable being in. When shit happens, I do not deal with it well. I realized in the South Africa trip that I have a pretty big ego. When my friends told me that I was behaving overly responsibly, it meant that I was not masking my feelings well enough. This is one aspect of my personality that I have to improve on, specially as I age and take up more responsibility onto my shoulders.

I have also realized that I am not very good at following up on things. I plan to do stuff but don’t see it through. Take this post for example. I was supposed to write it in September. I started it on the 15th of Nov then left it off for another 3 weeks. This is something that I really need to change in life. When I get to be you, I do not want to be the person that I am now.

How do I go about changing myself. I sorely lack the focus. I lack the patience and endurance that I have tattooed on my shoulder. I think it is difficult to focus when life is complicated. I need to start making my life simpler. When I get to be you, if nothing else, I would want to be a more focused man.  I know when I can focus, I can be successful.

 

 

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