March-y blues

2 years.

That is how long I religiously cataloged my life in this forum. Called them the Sunday posts I did.

3 Months.

Of marriage is all it took for me to stop writing.

Now to blame the Mrs for my tardiness is not fair. Its not like she has been hogging all my time. Since I have no work to do in the office, I am pretty much free these days. What ends up happening is that since I am very busy on Saturdays either working or doing chores or something else, Sunday is the only day that I have to give to the Mrs. The Mrs does not like it when I do not give her attention on Sunday.

All that still does not explain my tardiness. I could still write the posts on Mondays or Tuesdays. In the past I would look forward to the Sunday to write my post. These days I can go the entire week without thinking about it and not even realize that I missed it. I think the Sunday posts have lost their relevance in my life.

What drove me to take up that exercise in the past and why is it not relevant now?

I think the Sunday posts were a way for me to deal with my problems and anxieties. Those were difficult days. It was important for me mentally to know that I was moving forward in life. One way to do that would be to write a journal every week and detail in it what I did for the week and what I planned to do for the coming weeks. It made me feel organized and feel good.

Post marriage life has been better for me. Most of those anxieties and pressures gone. They have been replaced by other things but I am able to handle them. So now I don’t feel the need of a journal.

I also think that I have got too caught up in life nowadays so my attention span has reduced. Writing needs focus and I haven’t been able to do that. Even this post has been difficult to write. I get distracted every 5 mins. I took a 4 hour break after the first couple of lines. The Mrs keeps telling me about this. I may even be facing the effects of having such a hectic life. I have had a constant dull headache for the past couple of weeks. Research in google points towards stress as the leading cause of such a condition.

The real reason the Sunday posts lost their meaning in my life is because the underlying objective has been achieved. I wrote the journal as a way to help deal with the loneliness that I felt before marriage. Now that I am no longer lonely, I don’t need the journal.

I need the journal.

I may not be lonely but I have other problems in life. Like the one right now where I am incapable or relaxing for even a short period of time. I need the journal to track the progress I am making while I deal with the problem. And that is how it should go in the future as well. There will always be problems in life so I will need to take the help of the Journal to deal with the problems.

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