It is something of a quirk in my nature that whenever I need to do some thinking, I want to write a blog post for it.
When I woke up today in the morning and opened facebook, I saw a update from waitbutwhy for a new post on their website.. called “the decision”. The topic dealt with the various ways a person might approach the marriage question.
When I was reading the post, I started to think about my own approach to the question. I started to think about my journey from April 3, the first day I met her till today… the first time I told her I was in love with her.
It has been a curious journey, and one in which I have changed a lot and have come to understand myself a little bit more. I distinctly remember that first day.. when she seemed very straight forward and ambitious. I remember being aloof to her. I remember pushing her in our conversations to test her limits. I also remember my frustrations and my realizations.
The last one year has been difficult. I will probably write about it in my yearly post. It has all come down to today, and I am truly happy. I don’t think I have regretted at any moment my decision to marry her. But I have had my doubts as to whether I was compromising. And the compromise was never about her. I have always felt that she was a good match to me. The compromise was always about my impression of their family and my disliking of the situation in which they are in.
Even today I would prefer to be in a situation where her parents would be able to support her a little more. But in the last few weeks, I have come to realize that it truly doesn’t matter. In the bigger picture, if we are ready to work hard a little bit for the first few years. it does not matter how much money she has right now. Of course I would be under some pressure for a few months, but its not like something that I can’t handle.
I have a good feeling about the relationship that we are building together. And its built on top of her understanding of me. I have to give her credit for the way she has handled me. I am a difficult guy to handle and she has shown a lot of maturity and patience with me. These are not qualities that are so easily available these days.
I also love the way she entertains my small quirks and peculiarities. I have come to love her quirks and her peculiarities. I find her beautiful and charming in company. I like spending time with her and miss her sometimes. Even as I plan today’s date, I can’t help but feel exited. Is it love?