Month: September 2016

SUNDAY 95

Place: 005, Devi Residency
Time: 18:12
Week 49

Decent week.

Another week that sort of flew by. Work was hectic this week. Fewer people in SSC shift meant that I had my hands full with SR’s. Also have a couple of assessments that I need to complete and a customer presentation to prepare. Lastly, the OCP exam. Oct 9th is kind of the deadline for me to write the exam. The sooner to do it, the better.

Next week, I will be involved in migrations. Not sure how hectic the work will be. I will need to find time to do the rest as well.

More delays in dads money thing. This week dad told me clearly that I should make my own arrangements. It’s been very frustrating. With a 6 lakhs loan, the budget becomes very tight. In case the marriage budget increases, the after marriage expenses will become difficult to handle. I will have to deal with it.

Had a small fight with her yesterday. I lost the fight badly. I need to be careful about how I approach her for contentious issues. Made some mistakes yesterday that I should be careful not to repeat.

 

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SUNDAY 94

Place: 005, Devi Residency
Time: 10:42
Week 48

Good week.

I was working on a Delta assessment this week. I finished that and Manish handed me another one. I will be busy for the next 3-4 weeks. I volunteered to provide a OGG basics training to J&J. This will be my second customer training session and first at the client place. Should be good experience.

Fixed the reception hall. Called up Alankrita resort in Hyderabad. First they said that the hall is booked for Saturday so I decided to book the hall for Sunday. Then we found out that in fact the hall is available for Saturday and on Sunday, the hall that would have been the right size for us was booked. At the end I got the hall that I wanted at the time that I wanted so I was happy. We negotiated the price and the guy quoted 770 per plate. I am thinking the total will be about 120 people so the hall and the decoration and the photography should not be more than 120000.

We also took contact numbers for decoration guys. Need to get that done when I visit Hyderabad next month. I can probably do it in Nov also I guess. But its a good idea to meet them and talk to them to get an idea of what the price might be like.

Visited the bank. The guy there said that eligibility for the loan is not an issue. However, the bank cannot disburse more than 2 loans so I will need to foreclose one of the loans. Doesn’t make a lot of difference at the end of the day but I was hoping to take a separate loan and close the previous 2 off when dads money comes in. About the money, there is no word from dad. Need to talk to him now.

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Letter to Sridhar – 2017

one-year

 

To,

Sridhar Reddy
Aged 28 years 9 months

Hey pal, its me. You from the future.

28 years and 9 months old huh. When did I become so old? If it goes this way, in no time I will turn 30.

How is it going? How is the Mrs. How are the kids (I hope for your sake that there are no kids and none on the way)

I expect the next year to be a turbulent time. I have put in some effort to get to know the person that I am marrying. I expect over a period of time, you would have learnt even more. I will describe her according to what I understand of her at the moment. Given the more intimate relationship you would have built up over time, you can reflect on whether I am right.

Swathi is a simple girl. She has seen difficult days so she isn’t very demanding in life. The men she has seen in her life haven’t made an effort to set any good standards, so she loves me simply because I am better than them. That does not mean that she is happy with everything I say or do. I am not the most emotionally intelligent guy around. I can be brash and insensitive at times. Still she puts up with me and loves me.

I have pushed her a little these past few months. I might have said or done things that made her uncomfortable. I wanted to see how she would react. So  far, she has not resisted my approaches, she has fought to overcome her inhibitions. In the process, she has got to know me very well.

Now that I think about it, it is interesting how each of us have approached each other and built our relationship. I don’t know if it was because of the difference in our sex, or because of our different backgrounds. She started liking me based on my behavior and actions. For me however, the emotional attachment did not start until there some intimacy involved.The more time we have spent with each other and the more intimate we have become, my liking of her has increased to the point that I might be falling in love.

What are my expectations for marriage? I know enough about marriage to realize that we need to find things that we both like doing, and spend time doing those things. Intimacy and sex alone will not for the base of a happy marriage. I will need to make sure that I give her enough attention. She should not feel like she is allotted a slot in my time table.

Am I rigid? I know that I am a control freak. When and why did I become this way?

The last few weeks have also been interesting in how I have come to understand more about myself. In the last few years, I have felt the need to have something to look forward to at all times. I have often set goals for myself and have tried to achieve them. I have faced several failures, some traumatic. Failures at the marathons taught me that I need to plan every step of the way and that I should not allow myself to make mistakes. It is probably this thinking that caused my subconscious to obsessively plan every step of the way for the things that I set out to do.

Planning is not a bad thing in itself. No person incapable of planning and executing actions has gone on to achieve anything. Planning becomes bad when one becomes obsessive about it and stops enjoying the present. It can also be a source of irritation for the surrounding people.

Given this new insight about my own thinking, I have started to take it easy these days. I have realized that there cannot be only one thing that I look forward to. I need to have several projects in my hand to distribute my focus among different things and to give my mind some breathing space. How are you dealing with it? It must be even more difficult for you given that you do not have a marriage to plan for. I hope you are not driving the Mrs. crazy.

The 10 weeks left for the marriage seem to be going to0 fast and somehow not going fast enough at the same time. How was the experience for you? Did you have fun? Did the budget cross your limits? Were there any problems?

I want to know about the fun you have had. The places you have visited and the memories you have collected. Do write back to me on your thoughts.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

SUNDAY 93

Place: 005, Devi Residency
Time: 10:39
Week 47

A very quick week.

It feels like a couple of days back that I wrote the Sunday 92 post. This week really has flown. Work has been a little hectic. I did patching on 3 days and SSC on 4. Got some more clarity on the SSC future this week. Looks like the SSC work is really going to go. I spoke to Chaman this week and Chetan had a round table discussion too. A few of the resources might be pushed to GCS. Weekend coverage might go away. Should get more clarity in the next few weeks.

Moved out the certification exam to next week. Will try to get some practice done this week. Hopefully I will be ready for the test next week.

I have given up on the Bangalore marathon. There are too many things going on and too little time to prepare. Missing out on both the Bangalore and Hyderabad marathon is a shame. I have run at least one marathon in the last 4 years. I don’t like having to miss out this year.

I will try to keep running over the next few weeks though, to lose some weight and to keep up the fitness. I still need to be in shape for the wedding.

Spent some memorable time with Swathi yesterday. We went out shopping, then had a great lunch in MTR, then I brought her home. There was nobody home so we locked ourselves in and had some fun! Booked tickets for our honeymoon to Havelock islands in Dec. Cost of the trip will be about 70K.

Dad’s money still hasn’t come. The credit card bill is 86K this time and I need to get some clarity by the end of next week. If dad’s money does not come, in the third week I will need to approach the bank for a personal loan. How much should the amount be?

Did a lot of calculations.. I will need a loan of around 6L. And the more I think about it, the more it seems to me that I will need to take that loan regardless of whether dad gets the money or not. When he does get the money, I can use it to clear of the existing P Loans and my hand loans.I cannot rely on his money to clear or my existing loans and marriage expenses as well.

Given this realization of mine, should I approach the bank tomorrow and get the details? I have another 13 business days before the credit card bill is due. Processing the P Loan will take 6 business days. Thinking about it might take me a couple of days more. I think its a good idea for me to approach the bank tomorrow and get the details.

A Reply to Sridhar – 2015

one-year

To,

Sridhar Reddy

Aged 26 Years 9 months.

Hey Pal. It’s me, you from the future.

I read the letter you wrote to me today. You signed off by saying that at the core, what makes me, me is the same as what makes you, you. You asked me if I agreed.

My answer is yes and no. At the core, we both might be the same, but the way we handle ourselves and the way we go about life will change as you age.

You asked me if I got married. I am engaged at the moment and will get married on Nov 25th. My fiance is called Swathi and she is a fine woman. I am  quite looking forward to the marriage.

I did not get to do the Europe trip. Uttam and Mr. Chick are planning do go there in October. Instead I went to the U.S. This trip along with the marriage will be the highlights of 2016 for me. It was a fantastic experience and I am proud of the way I made it happen. It all started when bro decided that he will get the visa done for dad. He asked me to get a visa too, just in case I am in a situation to accompany him on the trip. I thought it wasn’t a bad idea so when Ram Bava visited India in Feb, I put in a little effort and got the visa processed.

Once the visa was done, the next step was planning for the trip. At first I thought that I will make the trip if dad’s money comes. But that kept getting delayed (It still hasn’t come). I asked dad to make the trip but he refused saying that he has to wait for the money to come. In hindsight, it was probably the right decision. I thought about whether I wanted to make the trip alone. I was reluctant because I did not have the money. In one of my conversations with Aditya, he mention that if it was a question of money, he could contribute and that I could pay him back later. That made me think of the Kashmir trip and I decided that I would do this one.

Bro booked the tickets. Along with the tickets, he probably had to shell out a further 600$ for my trip. Overall, including the visa, the trip cost me about 1,40000. It was a great trip.

I did pretty well with Sridhar 2.0 too. I changed my regimen in the gym and got very god results from it.I am moderately fit now and am training for the bangalore marathon. I changed my dressing and became a twice a week shaver for a few weeks. More of the same please.

SUNDAY 92

Place: 005, Devi Residency
Time: 16:51
Week 46

Good week.

At work was in training the whole week. Wanted to complete the OCP certification but realized that I might be a little low on practice for it yet. Since there is no particular hurry, decided to postpone it to next week.

Met the Mrs a few times this week. First I surprised her on Monday when I showed up outside her office at 8:00 pm. We had some food and then I dropped her home. I planned a surprise visit of friday too but it turned out to be a planned thing. We went to Biere Club near the forum value mall and had a good time. From there we met up with the folks in Indiranagar where we had dinner. Dropped her home after that. On Saturday we went to a horror movie together. Brought her to my room in the evening and had a skype call with bro before she left.

Told her I loved her yesterday. Do I know what I am talking about?

Booked hotel and flights for honeymoon to Havelock islands. I told her that I booked the tickets but did not tell her the place. When she asked me, I refused. She then said that I would tell her soon anyway given how I cannot keep anything inside me. How well she understands me

THE DECISION

It is something of a quirk in my nature that whenever I need to do some thinking, I want to write a blog post for it.

When I woke up today in the morning and opened facebook, I saw a update from waitbutwhy for a new post on their website.. called “the decision”. The topic dealt with the various ways a person might approach the marriage question.

When I was reading the post, I started to think about my own approach to the question. I started to think about my journey from April 3, the first day I met her till today… the first time I told her I was in love with her.

It has been a curious journey, and one in which I have changed a lot and have come to understand myself a little bit more. I distinctly remember that first day.. when she seemed very straight forward and ambitious. I remember being aloof to her. I remember pushing her in our conversations to test her limits. I also remember my frustrations and my realizations.

The last one year has been difficult. I will probably write about it in my yearly post. It has all come down to today, and I am truly happy. I don’t think I have regretted at any moment my decision to marry her. But I have had my doubts as to whether I was compromising. And the compromise was never about her. I have always felt that she was a good match to me. The compromise was always about my impression of their family and my disliking of the situation in which they are in.

Even today I would prefer to be in a situation where her parents would be able to support her a little more. But in the last few weeks, I have come to realize that it truly doesn’t matter. In the bigger picture, if we are ready to work hard a little bit for the first few years. it does not matter how much money she has right now. Of course I would be under some pressure for a few months, but its not like something that I can’t handle.

I have a good feeling about the relationship that we are building together. And its built on top of her understanding of me. I have to give her credit for the way she has handled me. I am a difficult guy to handle and she has shown a lot of maturity and patience with me. These are not qualities that are so easily available these days.

I also love the way she entertains my small quirks and peculiarities. I have come to love her quirks and her peculiarities. I find her beautiful and charming in company. I like spending time with her and miss her sometimes. Even as I plan today’s date, I can’t help but feel exited. Is it love?