SUNDAY 51

Place: 005, Devi Residency
Time: 7:23 A.M
Week 3

All the excitement last week about the new project and it turned out to be a damp squib. Mr.C was in the office but he did not speak to me. Meaning that either the project is not finalized or its going to Rupak. šŸ˜¦

Mr. Chinna called me up this week and we sat and settled the credit card bill. It turns out, I owe him ~ 20K in credit card dues. I don’t know where that money went but it put a serious dent in my budget for this month. After the next bill I will clear off the pending amount and then he is planning to take a loan on the credit card. Will see how that goes.

I sat and did my budget calculations today and it seems by march, I will have a bank balance of 45K. Even if I put on hold what I owe to Mr. AB and Suchi, I will be left with 80K. That’s still about 70K short from my budget for the Euro trip. Which means only one thing.. It’s not happening. Mr. UB has also not been showing a lot of interest. He will be quitting his current job in Jan and has an uncertain future financially. He does not want to commit to Europe as he has other expenses too. Which makes sense. Mr. AB wants to go but he is rich so he doesn’t have to worry about these things. Feel bad for disappointing him.

I paid 8.5K for another 7 month subscription in the gym. I wasn’t sure how long I will be staying but decided to commit to 7 months. Started the new regimen this week. Spent 3 out of the 6 days with sore muscles. I had a measurement done yesterday in the gym and there hasn’t been a marked difference in all the parameters. I will follow this regimen for the next 7 weeks and if it doesn’t work, I will fall back to the Fitness One regimen.

Spoke to Bro this week about the Ms. GTS fiasco. He heard me out and asked me to ignore it. Spoke to Dad about this too. He again denied speaking to the Uppal folks. He seems to have strong views against 2 girls from one family thing. Which makes me wonder how this happened. Either the Uppal folks cooked it up or Dad said something and they understood it in a different way. They seem to be decent people so the second scenario is more likely. Things like these happen all the time with Dad.

2 years after mom’s death, I decided that I was ready to start dealing with it. Yesterday when the memories flashed before me, I went through them instead of pushing them away as I usually do. And I was rewarded immediately. I can’t remember the last time mom came in my dreams but yesterday she did and it wasn’t bad. In the dream I think we were trying to board a flight to go to spain or something. I woke up feeling pleasant and happy. More of the same please!

Friday morning I got a thought about writing a letter to my unborn child. I have been doing some “writing a letter to the future” thing but this was taking it to a whole new level. The idea is to give the letter to my child when he/sheĀ gets to be 27. There are so many uncertainties with this. Firstly, I don’t know if I will live long enough to bear a child. I don’t know if any children I have will live to be 27. I don’t know what they will be called or what sex they will be. What if I have more than one child. Which child shall I be giving the letter to? And what if I die before they get to be 27. Also the world 30 years into the future will not be anything like the world we live in today. Will what I say today be understood by kids 30 years from now.

Let’s assume all of the above works out. I have kids, I live to give theĀ letter and they live to read the letter. What can I write today that will be relevant to them in their time? All of this made it very challenging which is why I got hooked onto it. I wrote a draft on Friday. I did not have a plan before starting out but just went with the flow. I think what I ended up with was pretty good. Most of the things I write in this journal areĀ pieces that I wrote in one sitting. I have never gone back to complete a piece that I left in between. I don’t want this letter to be like that. I want to take my time and revise the letter multiple times. I can write only one such letter and its an incredible opportunity to communicate. I don’t want it anything less than perfect. I think my kids deserve it.

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