A letter to Sridhar-2015

 

one-year

I am such a lazy ass sometimes. I’ve only just realized that I did not in fact write the Letter to Sridhar 2014. I wrote a reply to the letter from 2012 and I wanted to write a letter to 2014 but I never got around to doing it. Such a opportunity missed. Anyway I’m going to rectify that mistake now and write a letter to myself in 2015!!

 

To,

R. Sridhar Reddy,
Aged 26 years 9 Months.

Hi pal. Its me, you in the past. How life going?

Probably for the first time in the last 3 years, I am in good place right now. I am exited about life and am looking forward to November when I join Oracle. I hope I am still in Oracle and I am reading this in Hyderabad by the time I get to be you. It’s not that everything’s positive right now. I still need some closure after Mom’s death. Bro’s contract didn’t get extended so he will be staying at home for an extended period.

I hope by the time I am reading this, he is married and is happy. We have seen enough bad days till now. I am desperately hoping for the good days to come. And I am confident they will come. So how was the marriage? Did you take all the responsibilities and do your best. If he is not married as yet then are you doing your best to help him. You know you are the only one he has to take care of him. It’s a duty you don’t know how to perform.. but its something you will have to try.

I had booked the tickets for Malaysia trip.Did you go to the trip? Or did the marriage get scheduled at that time. I hope one of them happened. If both didn’t happen then its a sad one indeed. But I hope you managed to get through it. I am hoping that you got the chance to do both.

I have changed over the last 10 months. I have become more self aware now. These days its not enough for me to go through the day. I think I am getting back to the early Mangalore mindset. That was a fantastic period for me. That along with some of the time that I spend while on bench. I am starting another period of intense productivity starting this week. I hope I manage to keep this up for a long time.

Are you still desperate. I realized recently that I had made it a habit to denying every emotion that seemed sad to me. I don’t think about it much but I am very lonely. The sudden crying session that I had a couple of months ago brought out something in me that I didn’t know existed. Accepting that you are lonely is not doing any help though. Are you also lonely?

If it were in my hands to do something about it, then I would do it. It’s so sad that for me to get a girl, I will have to go so far away from my comfort zone and be someone that I am not. There doesn’t seem to be any choice though. I have to take my chances now. I want you to be happy and I am willing to put in effort to bring you that happiness. I am just hoping for some luck to come my way.

What else is going on with you? Where did Arsenal finish in the league? We bought Danny Welbeck last week. I am guessing he will score 12 goals and give 10 assists in all competitions. Did he do better than my expectations? And what about Nadal? Did he win another Grand Slam. The man is simply amazing.

I am siting in the hall in 6122 right now. You will remember the room if you close your eyes. What do you see? Do you see Marella’s bed, my electric to the left, cycles and book stand and tv?

I am planning to move to the solo room today. I’ll spend the next 2 months in that room. Who are you living with currently. I think by the time I get to be you, Marella and Bala would have left. That doesn’t leave a lot of people. Did Siva join us?

My second attempt at doing the Marathon has also ended in a flop. The legs are just not up for it. I think I will quit running for a while and work on general fitness. Did I start running again?

The first time I did this letter thing, I had listed out 5 criteria using which I wanted to judge the quality of my life. I want to do the same again.

1. Money : This one is currently a mixed bag for me. All the while that I was in Chennai, I think I managed my expenses pretty well. When the car loan went off, its burden reduced a bit but the housing loan got added to that so it was pretty much tight for me. Then we got the money from land and from then on my money management has gone haywire. I think I have spent a lot after coming to Bangalore. I am spending more money on Luxuries these days. It’s something that I have to work on.

Managing money is not a goal that I need to achieve. It’s a continuous activity for me and I can only rate myself based on how I am doing right now. A I can do much better than this. Given that my Salary will be increasing after I join Oracle, I will have to be even more careful with regards to my expenses.

My Current Rating : 6

My Expectation for you : 8

2. Peace of Mind/Pressures: I am very relaxed these days. The offer from Oracle has eased that burden from my head. Managing Dad and Bro is still a little stressful for me right now. By the time I get to be you, I hope that Bro will be married.

My Current Rating : 8

My Expectation for you : 9

 

3. Health: I have come to realize over the past few months that my body is not as robust as it used to be. I need to take better care of myself now. I think I am doing alright at the moment. I was training for the full marathon for a while but shin pain forced me to leave that. Now I am doing weight training in the gym. So I’m not in the best shape but considering how I was 6 months back, I think I have improved a lot. There is still scope to get better though and I will continue to utilize the gym while I am still in PSN.

My Current Rating : 8

My Expectation for you : 8

4. Interest/Hobbies: So one day a couple of months back I got very impulsive and went and bought myself an electric guitar. I have to say till now I have not made the best use out of it. I am not practicing enough on it. Music aside I have continued writing this blog although the content has reduced, I am still working out and I think I am mostly covering all the things that I need to cover.

My Current Rating : 7

My Expectation for you : 8

The last criteria makes me so depressed that I am not even going to go into it right now.

I hope you are hale and healthy when you read this and I hope you will write back to me.

R. Sridhar Reddy

Aged 25 years 9 months.

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