I hear the noise of Children playing way below. The breeze is very pleasant.It’s 6:00 in the evening. The light is just right. Everything perfect? Everything external to me seems to be. What about the things inside me?
Its been 2 weeks since I have made PSN my home. Is this my home? It probably is.Do I like the place. Its nice. The tall buildings that surround me don’t offer much of a view. But the feel is nice. Compared to the Chennai whether, the Bangalore whether is swell.
Coming back to home. What is home. After mom passed away.. I feel I don’t have a home to go back to. I think the time has finally come for me to come out of the pseudo state of denial that I have been in for the past few months and start accepting my reality. It is a great loss that I have suffered. How do I cope with that?
The two have left the room. I am the only one in right now. Do I feel lonely? Maybe a little. I must say I have been pleasantly surprised with the way that I have handled her presence in the room. I think I see this as an opportunity to learn about the female species. What good will it do to me? I don’t know.
Where is my life headed? What do I want to make out of myself? I want to stop being a loser and start creating something for myself. I want to work and work and work at everything that I possibly can. There are new year resolutions. I will create a PSN resolution. I will create a life for myself. I have to. 2013 was supposed to be the year of dreams. I will have to make 2014 that year. I have no more time to lose.
The world is a difficult place to live in. Life is never easy, no matter what species of creature you are. Learn to struggle. Make that a part of your life. Dont let patience and endurance just be words on your arms.
This feels like a self pep talk. Sadly there is nothing else for me to write about.
Don’t give up on yourself. Ever.