Month: September 2013

My Resolve

What mental image do I have of myself? Am I proud of myself. How good is my resolve? These are questions I want to ask myself today.

I have a healthy self image I must say. There is good self esteem and confidence in me. I can go stand in a random group and I will still be able to find my feet. But that is not good enough. I am above average now. Not great. I want greatness. I demand it of myself. I want to push myself towards greatness. I want to get there.

I want to know the reason behind every action I take. I want to stop day dreaming and instead start dreaming big. These words should not go hollow. I should be proud of my patience and endurance. I have to become the greatest person I know. And to become that I need to work relentlessly hard.

I seem to be rambling around a bit here. I’m not exactly sure why I started this piece. I just felt the need to write something to motivate myself so I started this. I am slowly realizing that there is a limit to what you can do physically but only you can put limitations on your mental ability. I need to prove it to myself that I am well and truly strong. True strength does not lie in having 20 inch biceps. Strength is about having an iron core that can sustain repeated stresses and still hold up at the end of the day.

I have to do this. There is no other way for me. I am not a bum. I am much more than that. Come on Sridhar. You can do it.

Pre Coimbatore Update

Quick update about how my running has been going these days. After a disappointing AHM, I took some time off to rest my right ankle. Weekly mileage after AHM was 21, 12,10 and 24. Got a little shin concern in between but otherwise am fit now. The ankle hasn’t healed completely yet but there is no pain during or after runs. It will get better over time.

I am seriously considering changing my registration from half to full for the Dec run. I may not get completely ready for the run but I should be able to manage. I don’t like being a half guy. I have to become a full marathon runner.

I have 10 weeks for training for the full. Last year I had 10 weeks for training for the half and I managed okay despite the rains. The mileage will go upto 30 kms from this week onwards which means I will be in full throttle mode. I need to monitor very closely how my body holds up to the stress.

About the Coimbatore half in due 2 weeks time, I am not taking it too seriously. I will do a 16 k this Sunday and I should be in decent shape for the run. I won’t push too hard in Coimbatore. I’ll use it as a practice run for the CTC half later in the month. I will take the CTC half very seriously as that is the last run before the Dec run and it will help me give a very good idea of where I am in terms of fitness. I wish I had more time to change my registration criteria. I am grateful they even provided that option.

Have completed 619 kms till now. 381 to do in 3.5 months. I should be able to manage.

 

Sabre

I just felt that I need to write something about my time working for Sabre. I get the feeling that I am at the mid point of my time at Sabre. I have been here for 9 months now and in these nine months, I have grown in stature. The latest achievement was the ATSE Prod switchover which I did last week. The task itself wasn’t very complicated. But given the importance of the servers in question, I feel proud that Dilip had the confidence in me to give me the task,specially at the last moment. I am also proud that I absolutely nailed said task.

How has the work been?
Stressful at times. Specially the oncall.  The difference between oncall in Onstar and oncall in Sabre is that in Onstar I had to be in office at the start of the shift. I didn’t have a lot of work to do and there was not much I could learn. There are no strict timings for Sabre but the work is more and you kind of have to be switched on all 24 hours. And no lapses are tolerated which adds to the stress. But there is a lot to learn.

The key difference between Onstar and Sabre has been the learning. While Iearn’t absolutely nothing in Onstar, I am learning new things every week even now when I am 9 months into the project. The team here is much better compared to the Onstar folks. Overall, it is not a bad place to be. In fact it is a very good place for me to be in. Everything is in my hands now.

I need to realize the difference between mine and bro’s careers. He never had the chances that I had. And I have wasted the chances that I got till now. I need to really dig in here and start putting in some effort. I can continue to go with the flow everyday and that wont be such a bad way to live but I need to do better than that. With increasing expenses and responsibilities, I have to look for a higher pay job. And I am in the perfect position to do just that.

I have lot of scope to learn as much about oracle DBA as I can. I have excellent resources at my disposal and experienced DBA’s working around me from whom I can learn a lot of things. This is my time really. If I don’t put in effort now, I will be letting a big opportunity out of my hands. Patience and endurance are not what are needed now. Determination is what is needed.

A Reply to Sridhar 2012

To,

R. Sridhar Reddy,
Aged 23 years, 9 months.

Hey buddy, read your letter to me yesterday. As silly as the concept of writing a letter to yourself in the past is, I am compelled to do it. I have done very few cool things in life, but this blog and that post is definitely one of them. So apt and prophetic were your words, it amazes me. Yeah, sometimes I just amaze myself.

I write this piece to you because you asked me a few questions. Questions that I would like to answer for the purpose of maintaining a record.

The first question you asked:
How life going? — Exciting?  Boring?  Engaging?  Dull?  Relaxed?  Pressured?  Happy?  Sad?  Content?  Frustrated?

The answer to that is my life is currently Exciting, Pressured, Content and a little bit Frustrated.  You wrote that your life was a mixture of some of those feelings. I guess we are the same in that regard. One year has passed in between. Things have changed. But we remain the same at the core. Will I be able to say the same 5 years later??

Back then you had been on bench for 5 months in a row and were worried that that spell on the bench would hamper your chances elsewhere. You would go on to get a project only in December but that project turned out to be a good one so your worry was for nothing. You said that in September 2013 you would like me to be working in Hyderabad but you wouldn’t be disappointed if I was still at Mphasis. I am in fact still at Mphasis. And I am not disappointed about that. I am in an environment where I can learn a lot of things everyday from people who are so much more experienced than me. My learning is only limited by my drive to learn.

To the question if you were content, your answer was yes and no. If you ask me now, I guess my answer would be the same. You proceeded to rate yourself based on 5 parameters. I shall do that too

1. Money. You said then that you didn’t think the loans would be going anywhere. You were right. In fact they have increased. I had to top-up the personal loan so now I am paying 30k to your 28k. If were to write a One Year Later right now, I would probably right the same thing. The loans are something I have come to take up as a responsibility on myself. Its true that I am living in the dark a little currently. My credit card bill reads 80k and I don’t have the money to pay this months minimum bill. I didn’t have the money to go to Goa too but I went anyway 🙂 . I am sure I will manager somehow.

Have I become a little bolder over the last few months. I think so. Less worried over the upcoming expenses I am. I can remember a few months back when I started eagerly waiting for the 1st of next month when I would get my salary and I could sort out my arrears. Not anymore. My skin has thickened up.

You rated yourself 7/10. I rate myself 8/10, simply because I have reduced my expenses a lot and now am more mature about my spending. Or not!

Peace of Mind/Pressures:  You felt the pressure of not having a project. I have learn’t to cope with the pressure that are present in my present project. It’s just the issues with Dad which I didn’t have then have started putting an overhead on me. Added to that is my inability to help mom or bro in dealing with difficult times. Not that I think about that a lot. But I should. And act on it. Which I will. Soon. Boy has arseblog had an affect on me.
Your rating 8. My rating 7.

Health: Now this is where I am really proud. The idleness in the later months of 2012 drove me to take up running and I have not given up since. You expected me to run the 10k at least 4 times. I have done better than that. I have run 3 half marathons and am currently thinking of participating in a full!  Certainly one of the better decisions I have made in my life when I started running. My running is haphazard right now because of the rains and the shifts but I make sure I make the best out of the time I have.
Your rating 9. My rating 10.

Interests/Hobbies: Okay here I have not done all that I could do. It true that you cannot do it all but I can do better than I am doing right now. I have stuck to the guitar which I am not really getting better at but I have stuck to it which must count to something. Completely stopped practicing Telugu. Have managed to improve communication with parents. Am growing further apart with batchmates, specially with lot of them leaving for U.S.
Your rating 9. My rating 8.

Pussy. Bah!. The only difference between you and me is that in the last one year, 5 of my batchmates have got married. And bro’s marriage is planned for Dec. Wonder how that will go. Its a barren land for me out there. And will be for sometime to come. No point in rating myself here.

So there it is. My reply to you. May this tome go into the shelves of awesomeness. Whatever that means!

Love,

Sridhar
Aged 24 years 9 months.

 

 

 

 

 

 

None in August?

So after 21 months of continuous blogging in this space, I finally missed to write even one post in the month of August. Sad cause it breaks my streak a little. I need to sit down and think about why I wasn’t able to put in a post last month. There is a pattern forming here isn’t it. In the 12 months before I joined Sabre, I had written a total of 68 posts. 10 months since joining Sabre has seen me write a total of 33 posts. That’s a decrease of almost 40%. Looks like I’ve got a little busy.

It was one year ago that I wrote the one year on post. True to my initial intention, I have not read that post till now. Now it’s September. One year on. Still I have not read that post. I just can’t seem to find the time. It’s not that I have become lazier or anything like that. It’s just that reading the One year on should lead to writing another One year on and I can’t seem to find the drive to do that. The thing I need to realize is that the idea of One year on was to read what I wrote one year earlier and to reflect about that. It’s not meant to be a continuous exercise. I can write another one if I want to. Or I can skip it altogether.

Lots of things happening in the Arsenal and Nadal and Indian Cricket team and Ferrari front. Yet I just can’t seem to find the time to write anything about them. So busy.

Have to do more.

Aah! I think I wrote too soon. I did have a post in August after all! I had written the Post AHM piece but missed out on publishing it. So my streak continues. I think its at 23 now. Hope to take it upto 40. Then upto 50. Hurray!!!

6 Priorities

There has been a certain pattern to my thinking about how I approach my priorities in the last few weeks. I have always felt that it is easier to keep track of things if you keep a mental count. I think the same approach can be used in day to day activities and that would be my attempt going forward. I don’t know if I can pull it off though. It will be difficult. To have that kind of focus and discipline day in and out is very challenging to master. If I can pull it off, I will really transcend to the next level. Sridhar will then become Sridhar 2.0.

Before I go to do that however, I have to first list out what my priorities are. So my priorities in decreasing order of .. well priority are:

1. Family

2. Work

3. Health — Running included here

4. Shifting job

5. Batra thing

6. Guitar practice.

Feels silly to list them out like this. But had to put them on paper.