Month: May 2013

Another season gone

Arsenal finished this season at 4th place in the premier league. This hasn’t been a smooth season by any means. I was forced to question my motives behind following Arsenal at multiple points during the season.

At one point when Arsenal lost in the F.A cup to some stupid team, I stopped caring altogether. Then we starting winning again and went on a 9 match unbeaten run that got us to the 4th place finish that we so desperately needed.

But now that the season has finished, I need to sit and reevaluate my reason for following Arsenal football club. I have to admit I am not the biggest fan of football. I rarely sit down and watch matches. And Arsenal don’t play the most exiting football there is to watch out there.

I started following football because I was bored and I needed something to pass my time. And it stuck. But I am not the biggest fan of football. Come to think of it, I’m am not a fan of any sport. I rarely sit in front of the T.V and watch anything. Not even the IPL, the final’s for which will be played tomorrow. So why?

To pass time. As simple as that. So I will come up with a strategy on how I want to follow football.

First: I will set really low targets for Arsenal to achieve. This way, when they surpass the targets, I will feel happy. This is so much better than setting high targets and feeling bad when we are not able to meet the targets.

Second: I will think about only the victories and ignore the losses. This way I am ensuring my feelings and I will always be happy regardless of the outcome.

If I follow the above mentioned rules, I think I will be okay. Looking forward to next season now.


Some thoughts

The Price

How will I be if you take away a part of me. You can have all of me or you can have none of me. One kiss of yours is too little for me. I’ll have all of you or I will have none of you.


We are attracted to the beautiful. The ugly repel us. The beautiful are not so because they choose to be. The ugly did not choose to be so either. They are the way they are. So why do we judge? Why do we let our eyes influence our judgement. Is it right?

How do the blind judge when they cannot see. But yet they must do. There must be a way. I do not want to be blind. It’s scary to imagine. Yet I want to know how they can tell between people. Without eyes to cloud there judgement, they must rely on other means. I wish they would team me. I want to learn how to judge people without my eyes influencing my judgement. I want to be a better person.


I feel exhausted. My limbs ache. I cannot see the finish line. I know its some distance away. My body pleads to me.. please stop I can go no further. But how can I stop. When I have come so far, done so much. I cannot give up. I have to believe. I push with all I have and then with some I didn’t know I had.I go on and on. The pain is not mine. I push it away. It’s not important. The only thing that matters is the vision of the finish. I hold onto that. I don’t let go. I go on and on.

Behold I can see the finish. I feel a rush in me. It propels me forward. The pain and the struggles are a thing of the past. I have made it. I cross the line. I stop. I revel in that moment. My greatest, my best. In that moment I am my own hero, my own god. The moment passes. The rush is gone. Move on now boy, there is a life to live..


I hate this world. It took my innocence away. Where is the me from the past. Where did he go?

Why have I become this way? I’m greedy. I’m conceited. I’m pretentious. Nothing is enough anymore. I want more and more. I have to deal with pride and ego.

Why can’t I be the way I was. Without a care or worry. The only response to hunger was amma akali. I was natural. I was true. I want to be 10 again. And stay that way.

My Love

I long to touch. I want to know how it feels. I have a need. Greater than hunger. Stronger than desire. I don’t know where it comes from. I cannot describe it. What I know is that I want you.

Where are you? How do I look for you? How do I know it is you?

I want you to be there. From this moment to the last. I want the knowledge that you will be there, day after day.I want to give myself. Take me. Consume me. Kill me.

When my last moment comes, I want to lie in your arms, look at you. I want to die knowing you were there for me.

How long should I wait. Come to me.

Hold me. Hold me. Please Hold me. Please please please hold me. Please somebody hold me.