A letter to Sridhar-2013

I was going through this article on ways to improve oneself. One of the points the author mentioned there was writing a letter to your future self. I got hooked onto the idea of writing something and reading the post 1 year later. What would I write in such a post? Both writing the piece and reading it one year later would be interesting experiences. So here goes:

To,

R. Sridhar Reddy,
Aged 24 years 9 Months.

Hi pal. Its me, you in the past. How life going?

Exciting?  Boring?  Engaging?  Dull?  Relaxed?  Pressured?  Happy?  Sad?  Content?  Frustrated?

My life currently is a mixed bag composed of some of the above mentioned feelings. I am currently on bench at Mphasis, spending my life the same way everyday, looking for news things to do to pass time and improve myself. This exercise being one of them. Right now I am living a fairly tight life, most of my money going to replaying the 3 loans and having to juggle the rest of the money between living and paying the credit card bill.

If I compare myself from what I was a year ago, I would say that I have become more self aware. I am not content to just pass the time anymore. I don’t necessarily spend my time thinking about the future. That day may yet come. But I do worry about things. Specially since the last 5 months. What I am worried about? I am worried that the continuous lack of project is going to hamper my chances when I will come to being you. In September 2013, I would want to be working in a proper software company, preferably in Hyderabad. Having said that, I wouldn’t be totally disappointed  if I was still continuing at Mphasis. The universe works in mysterious ways. It would be presumptuous on my part to say that I will not be happy at Mphasis, or I will be happy somewhere else. You never know. Right?  What will matter more is: am I content? So am I content right now?

Yes and no. If contentment could be quantized, say in a scale of 10, what will my rating be? What factors can a person use to judge if he is content or not. Money, Peace of mind / Pressures, Health, Interests/Hobbies and of course pussy. We shall deal with them one at a time:

1. Money: My last pay slip read Rs 44,000. 28k from that is going towards repaying the 3 loans. I am having to manage with the rest, watching my expenses. I can still do the normal things I did 8 months ago. I hesitate on the little bigger things and shy away from the really big things. Like buying a new phone, or a laptop or the Takamine G220. These are things I would buy if I had a surplus of 10k every month. These are things I can manage without. These are things I do manage without.
Do I regret being in this situation? No. This is the way India’s middle class lives. At-least this is how the responsible people live. The loans I took were for a specific purpose. The education loan was unavoidable. The personal loan was to pay the home margin and the car was required. I feel happy traveling in the car, and watching how the house is shaping up. I may have to make small sacrifices for this, but I am truly happy making those sacrifices.

What do I expect for you? I don’t think the loans are going anywhere. Specially after the supreme court ruling on dad’s case. So I expect you to still be paying the 3 loans. I am not expecting a drastic increase in salary for you. If I stay in Mphasis in September 2012, my pay slip would probably read 48000. Not more. My current self will be content if earn that in the future. Are you content with what you are earning?

My current rating: 7/10

The rating I expect when I become you: 8/10

2. Peace of Mind/ Pressures : Lack of project means that I don’t have office pressures. Of course I feel the pressure of not having a project, but that is manageable. I feel the money pressure, knowing that I am having to pay interest on the credit card. But I think for someone in the big world, these pressures are to be expected. I just have to train myself to get used to them. And they increase as you grow older…

My current rating: 8/10

The rating I expect when I become you: 7/10

3. Health : I must say I am pretty healthy right now. I ran 5k today. This is the first time I managed it. I am planning to do a 10k in the BITSAA 5k event in 2 weeks time. I hope to do well in that. I started the Batra’s treatment for my hair last month. I will only be able to tell the results when I am you. I hope they are good. They took 9k from me for that.
By the time I become you, I hope to have completed the 10k run atleast 4 times. I hope that my best timing for the run be around 55 mins and that I should weigh under 67 kgs.

My current rating: 9/10

The rating I expect when I become you: 9/10

4. Interests / Hobbies : My interests currently are following all the sports I like following, improving on the guitar, and working out. Other things I should be doing are being in constant touch with me parents, brother and relatives, helping them in case of need and the same for my friends. I think I am doing pretty well if you talk about this aspect of my life. With all the time I have on my hands, I am able to do all the things I like doing freely.
I expect you to be in a job and have a project so hopefully you wouldn’t have as much time as I currently have. But I still expect you to pursue a few of the above mentioned interests diligently and feel happy doing them.

My current rating: 9/10

The rating I expect when I become you: 8/10

Last but not the least: pussy. You know I’ve not had any till now. I’m not sure if I’ll get any by the time I become you. I’m not even sure if I want to get any for you. Getting some is good, but it will bring its own issues with it that I will have to handle. This is something that I feel is out of my hand. No use rating myself for this, but I will do it for the sake of completeness.

My current rating: 7/10

The rating I expect when I become you: 7/10

My overall rating currently is 0.8. I am expecting nearly the same for you. I am already on the path for making that happen in some aspects of my life. I will have to start working on the rest soon. I’d be happy if you matched my expectations. I’d be very happy if you exceeded them. Good luck mate. I hope life gives you only pleasant surprises.

Love.

R. Sridhar Reddy

Aged 23 years 9 months.

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